Why "tt;pd"
Well first I’m a massive Swiftie…. Taylor’s music has seen me through some of my biggest life events; happy, sad, loved, angry, sassy, disappointed – there’s a song for every era.
The way she brings people from different walks of life together is much needed in a chaotic and often upsetting world.
And I guess that's what I wanted to create here. A space for everyone to feel seen and accepted. A place for those who find conventional gyms or exercise regimes boring or a chore.
I'm proud to be inspired by her and to have built a community where being vulnerable is a strength.
The numbers
I was born on 22 April, and those numbers have always followed me.
2204 became TTPD – two t’s, a zero for the beginning of a new era (the ‘p’ for ‘pole’) and d is the 4th letter of the alphabet. We launched in 2024. They add up to 8 and 8 sideways is also the infinity symbol, so yeah, we’re playing a numerology game!
Taylor even wrote '22' and dropped the DOUBLE Tortured Poets Department album days before my 40th birthday.
The semi-colon
The semi-colon in the centre represents my rebirth. In grammar, it’s a sign that where a sentence could’ve ended at a full stop, but carried on. In mental health terms, it's come to represent those of us who struggled so much, they decided to write their own permanent full stop to their lives, but instead survived. It’s a symbol of hope, existing to encourage, love and inspire.
It’s apt that my thoughts (the ‘Thoughtful’ part of tt;pd) were part of my depression, self-harm, eating disorder and anxiety that could’ve ended my life several times. But after the semi-colon there is ‘pd’ – pole dance, and the Polers Department.
A new chapter in our story.
The Department
We’re a Department, not a studio. We have members, not students. Why? Because having been an instructor for over 5 years, I realise I learn just as much from the people in my classes as they do from me. We support each other endlessly, sometimes giving and receiving advice, sometimes with a hug and a cheer, sometimes with the sharing of tears and fears. This community has been the safest space I’ve ever known, allowing me to be my whole messy self.
Aligning
Throughout this project so many things have aligned. I first manifested this place on a super blue moon. The harvest moon that followed was where I really cemented my desire to open my own space. I said yes to Maltby’s Creative Mill on another full moon and I registered the business on another super blue moon. This is why each full moon I’ll be celebrating with a Midnights party.
Pole Therapy - Mental Health focussed
Pole has been better for my mental health than other form of therapy (and trust me that's A LOT). Maybe that’s because I came to realise that it wasn’t about ‘fixing’ broken parts of myself, but about sewing my scars into my own story and celebrating that they made me who I am.
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And maybe that’s why I’m so anti-gym…
"Too heavy - you need cardio to lose weight
Not toned enough - you need to lift weights to get in shape
Too weak – get stronger with crossfit or boxfit or legs, bums & tums"
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What if it’s enough to be heavy, or weak, or sad and still be able to move with emotion. What if you don’t need to change your exterior to become more fulfilled. What if moving just made you happy, not hench?
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I’m not saying pole won’t help with those things if you do want it to. I know my body has changed throughout my journey. But what I want to make clear is that you are welcome here as all that you are in this moment. For me that is not sweating away on a treadmill counting down the seconds til I’ve burnt enough calories. In fact since I started pole I move more than I’ve ever done in my life, and not once have I worried about those numbers.
Me and many of our members are Neurodiverse, have FND, fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety and OCD as well as those who have no diagnoses… and we all support each other to do what we can, when we want to.